This summer I have had an rather unexpected and delightful infestation of Colonial Cousins. Firstly Ms Moneypenny came over from Canada and then Crocodile, Saphie and Sumo Dundee from Tasmania. Because of the distance, we only get to see them ever few years, consequently time together is very precious indeed.
I am fortunate to have a large extended family – second/third marriages, associated children and unofficially adopted people, all of whom miraculously get on. One of my greatest joys, however, has been the discovery of relatives on my mother’s side, of whose existence I knew nothing until relatively recently. For various reasons, we became separated from them and, when my parents split up, we didn’t have much to do with my father’s side either, which was a great sadness. My new cousins (and Long Lost ones) are a great joy to me and I never want to lose touch again.
No-one really asked much about family and we didn’t know how interesting my grandmother was until it was too late. We also had the added complication that we were obliged, like so many families, to call our elders ‘Aunty’ and Uncle’ because it was out of the question to call them by their first name, but too formal to use ‘Mr’ or ‘Mrs’. I genuinely thought I was related to Aunty Doris who lived two doors down, but I just couldn’t work out how, as Nana had said she was a bit common… oh dear.
The Aged Parent was born in the Isle of Man, to parents from Lancashire. Her mother was one of ten, only six of whom survived to adulthood and about fifteen years ago I decided to find out who they were and from which genetic pool I had emerged. I did remember my grandmother (Nana) saying that there had been ten or twelve of them originally and I determined that I would seek them out. I made things difficult by deciding to trace through the female line, whereas most people go through the male line because of the continuity of surnames.
I won’t bore you a long and detailed account of how I did it, but I will list the various avenues of exploration that will help you to get the ball rolling.
- Talk to the oldest members of the family first. Once they’ve gone, they’ve gone and no-one else will have their knowledge or unique perspective. If you’ve not seen them for a while, give them a call or write a letter reminding them who you are and ask to go and see them. Then talk to the rest.
- Recording your findings. You’ll be amazed what you miss when you’re taking in a lot of information. Use a recorder and transcribe it as this will help you to remember stuff. Make a data sheet on each family member with notes of birth, marriage, death, place of birth, children, siblings, parents, addresses, occupations and a space for personal notes and details of things you want to find out. Photocopy all certificates and put them in a folder with each sheet
- Be prepared for some people not to want to talk to you, especially people with whom you have had no contact before. It is their right not to talk and you mustn’t pressure them. If they are reluctant, write down a list of questions with your contact details on and let them know you would be delighted to hear from them if they change their mind.
- Electoral Register. Once you have some names, go online and look at the electoral register. Even though we move about more nowadays, it’s amazing how often the apples fall close to the tree. I found my second cousin because he only lived two streets away from where he was born. I wrote and it was him.
- Join a genealogy organisation such as Ancestry. You can pay for membership for as long as you want it and it really will give you a massive head start. You can also download family trees that you can fill in and they can point you in the direction of other sites of interest.
- Register of Births, Marriages and Deaths. These are being uploaded online all the time and, if you can get copies of any certificates that your family will let you, you can get parent’s names, occupations and addresses from the certificates. You can also visit the National Archive at Kew in London. Large libraries will also have this data (sometimes on microfiche) if you don’t have a computer.
- Parish Registers. If family members are buried in a church near you, go and find the parish registers and photograph their gravestones. Again you can get names of parents, spouses and dates from these. Inscriptions on gravestones can often give additional insight into how the person was viewed as well as finding other family members from stones in close proximity.
- Commonwealth War Graves Commission. If your family has served in the last two wars you can find out where they were buried or commemorated and in which regiment they served. You can then trace their service records through the regiment.
- UK Census Records. The first census was conducted in 1841 and the latest one available (due to 100 years privacy) is 1911. These are fascinating as they tell you everyone who was present on the day of the census, their relationship to the householder, age, gender, occupation. You can often identify other family members who lived close by. Just be aware that some people lie about their ages and glamorise their jobs. Mistakes are also made as the census takers were not always as literate as one might hope and the transcribers were sometimes sloppy.
- Kelly’s Directories. This was a directory of trades and businesses in a particular city or town, as well as details and addresses of local gentry, landowners, charities and facilities. These are available online, on disc and many libraries still keep their own copies.
USEFUL WEBSITES
Assoc of Genealogists & Researchers in Archives www.agra.org.uk
Ancestry www.ancestry.co.uk
British War Graves www.britishwargraves.co.uk
Commonwealth War Graves Commission www.cwgc.org.uk
Find My Past www.findmypast.co.uk
Military Records www.forces-war-records.co.uk
Genes Reunited www.genesreunited.co.uk
Kelly’s Directory www.kellysdirectories.com
My Heritage www.myheritage.com
The National Archive www.nationalarchives.gov.uk
Births Marriages & Deaths www.ukbmd.org.uk
UK Census www.ukcensusonline.com
